Future’s gonna be okay

I’m sitting on a bed of roses and thorns because dozing off would mean losing in life. As a four-year-old kid sitting in front of an old television while Cinderella tells me that a dream is a wish my heart makes, I’m sent to many possibilities for the future. I spent days wearing my favorite dresses and telling my parents that I would live in a castle far away from the unknown. When I had my preparatory graduation, I stood in front of the microphone and said loud and clear, “When I grow up, I want to be a nurse,” just because my friends, who came up first, said they wanted to be nurses.

A shift in tides occurred when I was in elementary school, because this time, I held on to it for years—the dream of becoming a teacher. As an only child, praised for the number of medals hanging around my neck with every recognition, it felt more like a solace than a burden to carry, no matter how heavy and suffocating it seemed. To be a teacher in the future captivated my hunger for knowledge and understanding of the world, as I deemed my growing attachment to learning unstoppable. 

Fast forward to the year 2023, when the talk of the town about college and scholarship applications replaced the laughs and gossip in our school’s corridors. Financial burdens crept into the ceilings of my dimmed bedroom as I wrote a silent prayer to a distant star. Several entrance exams and commutes felt like endless steps filled with gnawing anxiety, making tomorrow seem impossible to reach. I don’t know if the world was against my dreams or if I was just less capable of dreaming because of my circumstances, but it felt like while other people were riding in limousines, I was walking on a tightrope between my dreams and reality. It dawned on me that the four-year-old kid sitting in front of the television had more luxury of dreaming than the eighteen-year-old me. It would be a total lie if I said that it didn’t kill my dreams inside. 

I continued searching for my path as I fought for every opportunity, gathering requirements for the schools I planned to attend. But, like every romantic turn of a story, an invisible string invited me to look beyond the opportunities I wanted for the moment I needed — a scholarship. My parents, determined to pave the way for the dreamer inside of me, inspired me to reach for the dream that my younger self would be proud of most: to be a Lasallian educator. Being given the chance to study at this prestigious institution as a Student Financial Aid Grantee was one of the most unexpected turns in my life. Yes, I had recurring dreams of being here, admiring the landscape as I flipped through the pages of my handwritten notes. Still, because I didn’t have the financial capacity to study, the dreams became a faraway place that I could only visit somewhere in the next life. 

Being a Lasallian scholar means a lot to who I am today as a second-year student majoring in Secondary Education – English. To be a scholar at DLSU-D means getting to know a lot of students, professors, and staff, especially during my duty hours in the library. To be a scholar at DLSU-D is to have a guaranteed experience for the future, guided by wise and seasoned people who have passion in their eyes for whatever they do. Lastly, being a DLSU-D scholar is learning that you are not here for the title of being a scholar, but a humble moment to learn your goals and pay kindness forward to people, especially in my future role as an educator who will always live by the action of aspiring to inspire the hope of tomorrow. 

To all aspiring scholars, I hope you will be able to seek the opportunity that is yours. As I said, to be labeled a scholar is not a title to brag about to your family and friends because to be one is to be dedicated and passionate towards your profession, no matter how bumpy the road may seem. 

To all the current scholars, I hope that we will continue to reach for our dreams with our hearts humbled and feet on the ground.

Maintaining a grade while maintaining to seek who you are is not an easy feat in college.

These days, I try to hold on and sit on a bed of roses and thorns because even dozing on it would be better, there are still more days to fulfill. There is still a tomorrow that I need to live. 

Mabuhay, mga iskolars! Malayo ka na, pero may ilalayo ka pa.

 

Originally published in Heraldo Filipino Volume 39, Issue 1

 

Contribute to Witbread in Heraldo Filipino’s Opinion Section, and grab the chance to be published in Heraldo Filipino Volume 39, Issue 2. Submissions are open for all Lasallians until March 31.