Soliloquy of the mind

Criticizing in vain

Taking on the role as our number one cheerleader, simple acts of self-talk can be our golden ticket to achieve will empowerment. However, the benefits of talking to yourself should not be confused with talking about yourself, aka the evils of self-superiority and narcissism.

If envisioned on a spectrum, positive self-talk would be on one end with phrases like “you can do this” and “you can succeed.” On the other hand, narcissism would run far beyond that spectrum altogether with phrases like “you are the best, and no one can beat you.”

Although misconceptions persist, self-talking is not solely directed to channel narcissism in a person. Narcissism diverts what self-talk wants to achieve as it is characterized by excessive self-confidence and self-absorption that may lead to superiority. Narcissism commonly uses “I” and “me,” while strategically done self-talk encourages “you.”

Angela Carey, one of the authors of Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, stated that narcissism is not about talking to yourself, but rather talking too much about yourself and elevating yourself to draw attention. Self-talk, on the other hand, focuses on personal development. Unlike narcissism, exercising your “inner voice” to have better self-control reduces impulsive behavior, as stated in the DailyMail article Is talking to yourself a sign of madness? While self-talk commonly aims to boost confidence, immoderation might lead to arrogance.

Digging our hands deeper to the differences of the two traits exhibited can be the key to kill the common notion of self-talking being equated to narcissism.

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Going against the grain of our social behavior, self-talk might draw some unwanted and unkind attention. Yet with the true nature of our soul’s soliloquy in mind, others’ opinion shouldn’t deter one from realizing that sometimes, we all need to speak, and we all need to listen—even to ourselves.

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